Lucifer Morningstar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_rebel_son) wrote2020-10-13 08:18 pm
the_rebel_son) wrote2020-10-13 08:18 pm
For the Love of the Fathers
Lucifer had withdrawn aside from official requests months ago. The angels watched and waited. It wasn't the first time their King had turned his back on the angels to dwell on some matter or another. As weeks turned into a month, and more, they started to whisper. Some had gone to Lucifer and been turned away. He was becoming short tempered, angry, and volatile.
Death listened in silence. He knew the reason but spoke no words of the matter. It was not his place nor did he know what the fallout would be if he spoke, creating a gulf in the family between father and children and between the twins was not something Thnisko wished to be responsible for. And he held silent from the shadows, often seeking out Deet's company to be free of the pain he felt from his father. She asked and he spoke of family problems with no specifics. She understood though and simply seeing a father bearing depression was enough of a reason in her eyes.
Today though when Belial and Lucifer had nearly came to blows in anger over a trifle matter Thnisko knew silence could not stand any longer. He debated internally about who to speak with and who might do the most good. There were things about this situation that required reservation, tact, and an ability to manage Lucifer when he barely wanted company.
Thnisko wondered if Balthazar already knew the situation, and if so, things would be more dire than Death expected. Still, that was who he sought out in the villa. He knew his other father was present. That is where Death headed, steps heavy with worry on many levels.
Death listened in silence. He knew the reason but spoke no words of the matter. It was not his place nor did he know what the fallout would be if he spoke, creating a gulf in the family between father and children and between the twins was not something Thnisko wished to be responsible for. And he held silent from the shadows, often seeking out Deet's company to be free of the pain he felt from his father. She asked and he spoke of family problems with no specifics. She understood though and simply seeing a father bearing depression was enough of a reason in her eyes.
Today though when Belial and Lucifer had nearly came to blows in anger over a trifle matter Thnisko knew silence could not stand any longer. He debated internally about who to speak with and who might do the most good. There were things about this situation that required reservation, tact, and an ability to manage Lucifer when he barely wanted company.
Thnisko wondered if Balthazar already knew the situation, and if so, things would be more dire than Death expected. Still, that was who he sought out in the villa. He knew his other father was present. That is where Death headed, steps heavy with worry on many levels.
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He's about to explain his encounter with Raphael, but the laughter stops him. It's not that he minds, though; he glances up at Lucifer with a raised eyebrow, then smiles as he clarifies what he means. "Perhaps, but keep in mind it's possible that you're the superior Lucifer across the multiverse but you somehow got the dumb Raphael."
"Can't speak for Uriel; he wasn't an archangel for us, just a...specialist. And he killed several of my siblings in cold blood, so I can't forgive him that."
He's thinking now, though. Thinking about Raphael. Who believes there is no solution to his pain but oblivion. What would he think of this Lucifer?
What if keeping his world's business apart from Lucifer's is holding them back instead of moving them forward?
"Raphael approached me," he says. "In my world, not here. He doesn't know this place exists, as far as I can tell. I think he thought I might be able to influence Castiel or his followers to stand down. He offered amnesty. Archangels, in my world, simply don't do that."
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Lucifer would never say something like that to anyone else. Balthazar was safe. He trusted him. To only take what he gave, to return the power if he submitted, to not abuse his submission. That was what Lucifer required to give in to lovers; mutual respect.
Lucifer touches Balthazar's cheek gently. "I understand there are lines past which forgiveness can never be given."
He listens carefully because his partner rarely spoke about the workings if Heaven in his own world. "I would feel the same if the seraphim offered us amnesty."
The angel is silent for a moment and then speaks again. "I am here if you need of anything, as are all my resources. I know you worry about one of the fallen drawing attention but my influence is growing in Heaven. It is a precarious position but there are celestial angels I can trust."
Lucifer chuckles. "I think fighting dirty may be the ophan way now that I know you and I am becoming acquainted with Rota."
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There's another starburst of joy and affection in his Grace when Lucifer teases that he should pin him to the wall. After what he's just been through, to place such open trust in Balthazar is truly remarkable. He notices, and he's not taking it for granted.
He nuzzles lightly into the touch to his cheek. "But I'm not sure what's the right thing to do with my Host. For the longest time I wanted to just run away. Now I could. I could stay here and never return to my world, have all the angelic company and affection I ever wanted and just forget the disaster that my family actually is."
"But I can't stop loving the ones I'd leave behind. I wish I could. I tried." He tilts his head up and gives Lucifer a gentle kiss. This relationship is unquestionably his priority, but he can't pretend his own Host has stopped existing.
"Do you suppose it might be possible for an alliance somehow? Your world and mine?"
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"Sometimes I am not always sure what is right either." That was another thing he could speak here, in private, and nowhere else.. uncertainty. "I thought for a long time after the angels approached me before agreeing to anything. I do understand the desire to stay connected. I feel it. Not with the seraphim. They can rot, but the other angels I do. One of the duties I was created for was to take care of and teach the lower angels. I have never been able to shake that desire."
Lucifer returns the kiss, nuzzling his forehead into his lover while he thinks. "It would depend on how repulsed they are by our status as fallen. You mentioned there are no fallen in your creation. That lack of frame of reference could breed curiosity or mistrust. I do not know enough about your angels to speak to that but my own may be open to it. Though Michael and Abdiel would be a hard bargain. They have caused so much pain to the fallen that the name alone may invoke aggression."
Lucifer pauses but realizing that Balthazar may be serious, he knows more information needs to be shared. "Abdiel was a close confidant of mine in heaven. He is the one who betrayed us to Michael. It is his fault alone that Belial is blind and my wings were ripped out. An angel bearing that name may be attacked on sight. I do not think even I would have the presence to stop it from occuring."
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"I wouldn't want our Michael or Lucifer around here. They're locked up and they can stay there as far as I'm concerned. Neither of them was ever going to back down. Letting either of them out would mean some form of Armageddon. But Raphael...I've worked with him."
He's quiet a moment, gathering his thoughts, then goes on, "He's not actually designed for leadership, or conflict. He's the protector of children and the master of healing arts. Technically my garrison was under his command for most of my life, but we rarely spoke with him directly. I did, once or twice, during downtime."
"He's desperate, and that makes him dangerous but I still pity him. He's the last of the archangels left, and I think half of him wants Michael and Lucifer back, as brothers, and the other half just wants to burn existence to the ground because he has no idea what to do with it. I think...I think he might actually listen to you, because you're the alternate of one of his brothers. The four used to be very close, before the first war happened."
"But if I'm wrong, it would be a total disaster and both of you could get hurt, so I keep second guessing myself." Honestly, if it came down to a tooth and nail fight between Raphael and Lucifer, Balthazar has no doubt Lucifer would win, but he might not win unscathed.
He hugs Lucifer closer and pets his wings again. "I don't know any Abdiel. If there ever was one in my world, he'd have to be dead or in prison. I know the names of all my living siblings in good standing, and all the ones that died during my lifetime."
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"I would advise him if you wished but I am not interested in war or becoming engaged in battles. The truth is that I suspect I am far stronger than most of the angels in you creation. Advice to a brother is not much interference but I could break the scales by getting overly involved. It has occurred to me that I am a creator and could potentially be as powerful as your own God."
This wasn't pride talking but sincere contemplation on the subject at hand. "If he is amiable to our assistance perhaps Belial could be of service as well? I am willing to try if you think it will help end the war that troubles you."
Lucifer is not fearful. The wrath of an angel will never compare to the several times he has been smiled by God. "It might be wise to meet him first in your world instead of revealing this place."
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"No, no...the point would be to stop the war, not participate in it." His hand finds Lucifer's, and he laces their fingers together idly. "I think if Raphael agrees to an armistice, Castiel will lay down arms, too. You're right, though. We don't want him here. He sent Virgil after me before, and I handled that, but even if he didn't come through himself, if he wanted to send angels to cause trouble, he could."
Mind you, he's a little pleased with himself at how well he neutralized Virgil--without killing or even wounding him, although given the subsequent rampage, a case could be made that he should have been more aggressive. "I think the first thing to do would be to collect a few angels from my world that I know I can trust. As backup. Aziraphale wants to meet a Cupid anyway."
He breaks into a grin and looks up at Lucifer. "So, come to my world to visit and help me select artwork for a gallery show with a theme of romantic love? It can double as a mini engagement party. The humans that work for me there won't know anything but that you're my fiance. And I'll take you all around Chicago on dates for however long we can spend there."
"You deserve a vacation, inasmuch as you can have one."
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Lucifer considers this and shakes his head slowly. "If you are known as a companion of Castiel, showing up with your own companions may prevent me from being seen as a neutral party." Of course he isn't exactly a neutral party but as an outsider he is more so than any other. "I can manage alone."
He sighs stroking the other angel. "I would be honored to see your world but do you think it is wise? I cannot hide my wings."
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That's an oversimplification--one that could, in another world, have easily led Balthazar to a bad end--but it's not without an element of truth to it.
He looks a bit disappointed to have his engagement party idea vetoed, but Lucifer is probably correct. He can still round up a cupid to introduce Aziraphale to, anyway. Working from that end might even be a help in the long run. Just showing angels there are other options outside their own worlds may be meaningful.
"You're probably right," he sighs. "But there are one or two out of my own Host I wouldn't mind introducing to this place, sooner or later."
He shakes his head a little. "You don't have to hide them. They won't hurt anyone. As long as you're not searing any retinas out, misdirection should be possible with humans."
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"They will be welcome here when they come." Lucifer would trust them if Balthazar did. "You will need to warn them, perhaps, that there are so many fallen angels here."
Lucifer chuckles quietly, teasing. "If I catch fire at a party and start searing out eyes it will be your fault."
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He reaches up to cradle Lucifer's face gently between his hands, thumbs stroking along his cheekbones. "So, I can't give you blowjobs under the table at parties? That'll make them less fun for me, I suppose, but it's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make."
His grin brightens. "You know, all we need to do in a big city like Chicago to make people comfortable with the gorgeous winged being in their midst is for me to carry a professional camera and tell them you're a model on an indie photo-shoot. They'll just assume the wings are clever costuming then, as long as you don't smack anyone with them."
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Lucifer starts laughing despite the hurt he still feels. "I make no promises if they flirt to much with my photographer."
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He grins, fully aware this doesn't heal the pain--that will take time--but happy to hear the laughter. There is no way they're doing an angel-sex fondue at his gallery, though; it would be hazardous to the building, not just the chocolate.
He leans in and dots little kisses all over Lucifer's cheeks. "Your photographer only has eyes for you, sweetheart. You're all I'll ever need."
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No, this doesn't fix the pain or anger but it keeps it at bay like looking the other way when something painful is happening. His smile brightens but there's a flutter of pain from that comment. An internal guilt that if he thought that way the current situation wouldn't be a situation.
Lucifer just sighs finally as he tries to vent off the feelings. "All the more reason to stop them from harassing you." His eyes linger on Balthazar's for a long moment and then the smile reappears. "They are incredibly beautiful eyes."
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There's a moment where he looks into Lucifer's eyes as if he's sensed some of his thoughts. And if he's honest with himself (which Balthazar rarely is, but there's a first time for everything), he is a little...hurt isn't the word, nor is jealous, but perhaps uncomfortable. The issue of how exclusive they truly mean to be to one another remains unresolved, but at the moment that is far less important to Balthazar than his lover's hurt and trauma.
It can be discussed later. Right now, something seems needed.
Hands still cradling Lucifer's face, he slides one around to the nape of his neck and pulls him, gently but firmly, into a kiss. "You need more than talk right now, don't you? What can I do?"
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He doesn't avert his eyes but meets his lover's gaze even if it feels like it is boring into his grace right now. The kiss is far more welcome and he leans in.
"I really do not know." Lucifer sighs and pulls Balthazar in closer. "Death has always been the source of my pain, not the living."
It was strange now that he thought about it. No one alive had ever hurt him. It was always other people's deaths. He couldn't help but wonder if that made this all worse. "I do not think sitting here is not doing any good."