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Date: 2019-12-30 10:00 pm (UTC)I don't know what it would mean to not think of myself as human anymore, [he confesses, calmly. What he does know, though, is that the idea of someone else telling him or trying to impose a meaning he didn't decide for himself is something he doesn't like.
His reflexive response to being confronted in this personal way is to bristle defensively.]
Perhaps I'm just not a very warm, caring, or gentle person; Perhaps the 'brokenness' [a maudlin word in his eyes, and one that feels like it brings a small amount of bile to the back of his throat to say] is the natural result of what's been done to me, [he suggests, but even he knows the explanation is something of a deflection. It's such a natural response by now that he can't pull himself back from letting it go.]
And trust like that takes time. Shared experiences.