King's Rebellion

[the_rebel_son]

The moment he set foot in Chaos the attacks came. He knew they would. The Fallen sensed the change in his presence just as the angelic had sensed his presence upon Eve in the Garden. Though in the Garden, his presence was a lot less noticeable on the human woman than the angelic presence was on his aura. They had touched spirits, mingled their energies, and the heavenly mark wove through his own essence down to the very core. He could still feel the touch of that angel on his body and his soul, for a lack of a better way to think about his energy and the Grace that had so intimately touched.

Some would not dare confront him, some he could hide it from, a few would openly support him, but the stronger archangels could feel it at a distance. He had been able to hold his own until they started coming in groups, too often to heal completely between assaults. Moloch had taken the chance to raise riot against his rulership, though the arrogant angel took any opportunity to do so, this would be a quite different rebelliousness to quell. He had transgressed against the very black and white dividing line between Host and Fallen. It would not be tolerated by either side of the war. He was the Morningstar, transgressor of all restraints, this was but another manifestation. At least his daughter had understood, and dissolved into rancorous giggles when she learned of his trespass. Both of his children understood and would hold true the rulership in his absence. He trusted them, and many of the Fallen feared them.

Lucifer had cloistered himself in Pandemonium with intent to heal the ever growing number of wounds inflicted by the other Fallen. To transgress was always his way by choice or circumstance, but he was aware of the consequences. Aware and uninterested. Still, as a lord, he knew strife and war were to be avoided, though hard to avoid when one ruled those who willingly rebelled against God himself. The cloistering had a purpose if only to delay because he knew it would not avoid confrontation forever. Still, it had given him the opportunity to speak with his advisor and children, to plan what was to come and how to proceed. In his own realm, within Chaos, Lucifer had a measure of omnipotence that he possessed nowhere else. He knew the clash was coming to his door but pride always overruled his uncertainties in the end.

“Lord Lucifer.”

He had not moved from where he stared out on the blackness of Chaos, even when he heard Moloch's voice. Of all the Fallen, Moloch was the one who challenged Lucifer most. In the past, Lucifer had wondered if the sins of Pride and Arrogance were not more fitting for this archangel than they were for himself. Moloch believed himself more powerful than God, and now in the Abyss, more powerful than Lucifer. Moloch had not even been expelled from Heaven for aiding Lucifer, but for taking up arms against God while Lucifer was being bound and judged. Even in the midst of the rebellion Lucifer would have only put himself as an equal to God, no more powerful. If a place had existed to banish him to the Lord of Hell might have done so. Instead he allowed Moloch to build his own palace, stir up his own rebellious angelic host from the members of the Fallen Angels. Better to let the enemy wave their banners in plain sight than struggle to follow subverted and hidden acts.

“We will speak with you.”

Moloch's voice was full of demands. The sound alone rustled anger in Lucifer. To challenge him, even in voice, within his own palace was a slight that would come with punishment. He reached out listening to the threads of action and motivations that let him see beyond this moment. This was not the first time Moloch and his loyals had chosen to attack Lucifer since he had returned almost two weeks earlier, by human terms in his own Creation. He couldn't be sure how much time had passed in the Nexus. The room hung on the edge of war.

“Fallen Betrayer, you will address us.”

Lucifer spun on those words, wings spreading and alighting with fire. The growl that came was fashioned of wrath, pressed into a maelstrom by his pride. It was a threat to the others who numbered many, perhaps several dozen or more. The weaker willed backed away from the display and exposed their compatriots from whom the war would arise.

“You have consulted with the Host. We see the marks upon you.”

Even in his fit of rising rage, Lucifer smirked at the commentary. Diplomatic liaisons were the accusations. The suggestion was laughable in the face of what he had actually done while outside the bounds of Chaos. The debauchery and taste of Balthazar's lips still caused his heart to flutter wildly when he thought about it, even now with his anger in control. He could only imagine the fury if the Fallen knew. They might fall to complete madness if it was discovered.

“Tell us who has lead you to this betrayal so we can go forth and strike them down.”

Those were the wrong words. Of all the combination of words, in all the languages, that Moloch could have chosen, these were the worst to speak. Lucifer's whole being went to fire as the sin of wrath took hold of his presence and burned away all other considerations. He brandished his power as a threat, a prelude to violence. Angels instinctively averted their eyes. Several of the angels fled in the wake of the change. But Moloch, he drew sword to clash with his king. A moment of hesitation passed through Lucifer. He could kill these archangels without thought but it would do nothing for his station. To humiliate them and send them crawling back to their brethren in shambles was, and had always been, more effective. He would have preferred to rule by other means but the Fallen, most of them anyway, provided few options for alternatives.

Moloch had not moved. He and Lucifer were locked in a competition of presence as the flames spread farther into the room. It wasn't just Lucifer's wrath that was brought to bear but the whole cocktail of sins and virtues. The King was charging up his inner strength like Godzilla about to blast Tokyo. The other angels stood aside afraid of the energy coursing through the Seraphim. The brightness blinding, and the fire arching over the Fallen Angel as scorching as the pit of fire itself. Too often had they seen this battle and some had learned to interfere in it lead to pain and crippling injuries. It was rare in the conflict between the two angels for Lucifer to bear his presence in threat. Most had never seen Lucifer this infuriated and simply stood in awe of the display. Moloch would move soon, Lucifer could sense it in the air currents.

A heartbeat and then a sword flashed. Lucifer grabbed Moloch's sword arm, twisting it to force the other angel to release his weapon, bones snapped in his arm. Moloch cried out as joints were rendered with the force. The sword clattered to the ground but Moloch had taken hold of the flaming wings, ripping a handful of feathers free. It was the utmost insult in Chaos. To damage wings was the action of God and a show of utter contempt. It was an intolerable affront to Lucifer's pride and crown. Moloch had grabbed a second hand full as Lucifer threw him across the room. More ripped free, burning feathers raining down in the room like volcanic ash. Moloch slammed into the wall with such force his wings shattered and his essence reverberated with the impact. Flames burned the angel that would rebel against his king, leaving Moloch to flee midst agonizing screams.

The others fell upon Lucifer choosing to burn themselves in battle rather than relent. Even in his wrath, thirty or more to one gave some opportunity and advantage to the others. He had been speared by one of the angels. Which, it did not matter. They were ripping out his flight feathers and sought to damage his wings. A grounded angel was vulnerable and took out much of his maneuverability. It was an attack on his person and pride. He cast them aside, many crawling from his presence, a broken wreckage of what had entered the space.

“Out!” a voice bellowed above the din of clashing angels. “Out! Before you are laid to ash and ruin.”

The angels obeyed, if only because they were forced to in their mind. Like rats, they scurried from the room, most wounded but they would heal over time. Free of his aggressors Lucifer assessed his own wounds as he tore the spear free from his shoulder. In the depth of rage he felt no pain and heard nothing but the sound of fire. He felt weary from the injuries and constant need to heal, but the King was still incredibly dangerous.

“Lucifer.” the word came gently once the angels loyal to Moloch were driven from Pandemonium by the guards. Belial stayed at the door, wise enough to refrain from any action. “Lord?”

Belial waited patiently for acknowledgment. His senses were fixed on the feathers strewn about the room. They had taken enough that it might impede his King's ability to fly. His mind drifted to the King, all the flight feathers were gone and one wing lay ragged. There would be no flight possible now. He mused that the other angels were lucky to be anything other than ciders. However, the fact they had not been consumed by fire told the counselor much about his Lord's disposition.

The fire was slowly dying away and Belial stepped into the room without hesitation. In the face of Lucifer's wrath it was important to show no fear and tread lightly with your words. Belial knew what had happened between Lucifer and the heavenly host but he had not pried. The depth of it had caused emotional outbursts that he knew better than provoke. Here it seemed to be laid out again, something that drove this kind of fury was not a petty squabble, brief discussion, or even a one time fling. Belial could see the rebellion, the wrath in full blossom as when Lucifer raised war against God. The advisor could trust his Lord to speak when needed but he was curious about the reason so much fire was levied against Moloch. Lucifer clashed with the other angel enough that it seemed common place and barely an incident. This, this was an incident to find Lucifer in his full, terrifying glory.

Instead of talking he approached and did what none other in Hell, except for the twin heirs, would do. He reached up and brushed blood soaked hair from Lucifer's face. The fires were still scorching but Belial had spent eons with Lucifer. He could judge the Seraphim's power with ample wisdom.

“They will return. Moloch is convinced you have weakened.” He spoke soothingly to the enraged angel but also used his mental abilities to calm the fires and wrath. When Belial had been blinded by God for rebellion, Lucifer had granted him the ability to see with his mind as clearly as others might with their eyes. It was a gift, one of many Lucifer had bestowed upon him since his creation.

“He will never learn the lessons the others have.” Lucifer admitted to his advisor in a low growl.

“It does seem he is destined to remain your adversary.” Belial felt the fires die away and the control reassert itself. It was safe to speak. “The Fallen say you are consulting with the Host of Heaven, that you may seek a truce.”

Lucifer gazed at his companion while feeling his mind reaching out. He did not resist. The Lord of Hell trusted Belial implicitly. Since his creation, Belial had been at his side. Once it was in the awe of creation and now as his reason and eyes in the greater brood of Fallen. Lucifer smirked proudly as he felt Belial's mind come in contact with his, searching for the memories of Balthazar.

“What need is there to speak with...” Belial's words trailed off to silence but the silence was quickly filled with a high, full laugh from Lucifer.

Belial collected himself and wiped the blood away from Lucifer's face with the sleeve of his robes. He had not expected to find affection or love in the midst of the memories about the angel his lord had met. Though, from his encounter with the angel, he had expected the desire and sex. The outbursts made sense now. Belial had been there to know how Lucifer behaved when he was charmed by someone else. “That's not the type of meeting they believe you are engaged in.”

Lucifer appreciated Belial's lack of expectations and his utter acceptance. It was Belial alone that Lucifer regretted being mangled by the hand of God after the Rebellion was quelled. He had been grace, humanity, and dignity. Even Fallen, Belial was the most humane and diplomatic of the angels and had never lost his desire to see what sprang new in creation.

Lucifer could not hide from this angel, had never chosen to keep him out. “They will come to confront me no matter my choices.”

Belial nodded his assent to the claim before embracing the Seraphim. Lucifer returned the gesture as a father would to a concerned son. The younger archangel buried himself in the warmth of his friend, ignoring the blood soaking into his garments. “If any could enact such transgression and rebellion against the whole of the Host and Fallen, it would be no other.”

Lucifer chuckled but he could feel the disquiet within the other angel who went on speaking. “You need to heal. It would be prudent of you to spend that time outside their reach. Thnísko, Amartolósa, and I can tend to their brash foolishness.”

He was going to protest but the other angel interrupted, something very few angels would dream of doing. “I will tell them you are within the realms. Let them search in vain while you recover.”

It was a wise plan in the face of his injuries. He would not need long if he were not constantly harried by opponents. He needed to get back to full strength in order to reassert his rulership and rouse the other fallen to turn on their brethren for challenging his position. Sighing heavily he released the embrace and nodded in agreement. Belial and his children could manage for a time, time enough to recover.

He would need his son to safely make it to the Gates of Chaos. The angels had enacted their purpose. His left wing broken in multiple places and his flight feathers torn out, the Fallen Angel was grounded and unable to fly, and too spiritually exhausted to heal more damage. Lucifer sought his son. Thnisko waited for him with Azazael, his standard bearer. Azazael had been a child by angel standards when he had stood with Lucifer in the rebellion. He had been loyal unto sacrifice since Lucifer waded back into the fires of Chaos to free him when he could not break his bonds. Death was feared by the other angels, especially with Lucifer's presence, even as broken as his current state. As two seraphim rooted in destructive powers, together they could obliterate any angel that might bar their way. It gave them rather free passage to the gates of Hell. Lucifer exited and Death locked the gates. Azazael took up post outside the gate to guard against the Seraphim who might make designs on Chaos if they knew the king was injured or long absent. They would not open the gates unless Lucifer spoke.

He was a pariah of the Host and now, more than ever, a target. The host could potentially see his transgression as a more serious sin against order than the Fallen had. When he was seen as corrupting a human they had tortured him and bound him to the fires again. What they would do in retaliation for corrupting an angel, he could not discern. He could not stay here, in his own creation, and so departed for the Nexus. Even there he would not be able to stay. He would have to return to Chaos and deal with the Fallen before long.

By the time he reached the Nexus, Lucifer's head was spinning from exhaustion and injury. His armor, though technically weightless, felt incredibly heavy. Even a being of his age and power could only endure so much before their conscious waned. He would not die, but passing out in the open wasn't an option. Angels of his own creation could follow and find him incapacitated. He needed to find Balthazar, if he was even here and not within his own creation.

Vague memories existed of the apartment, somewhere. Weakly, Lucifer reached out getting a bearing on the imprints left by the other angel. He could feel the river and smiled to himself as he started walking a different direction, another condensed feeling of his presence. He hoped it was the apartment or, at least, where ever the angel stood now.

He moved slowly and recollected at least one instance of coming around on the ground after passing out. Still, with determination and time he found the penthouse door. The Fallen Angel was barely holding himself upright as he leaned on the door frame. He had intended to just knock but it turned to a slamming of his fist on the door as he fought to keep balance. There were wounds everywhere, some were already healed to fading scars and others still bled freely. Blood was running down his left arm and dripping from various points on his wings where feathers had been torn free. Blood smeared the door where he had knocked and pooled at his feet. Even his essence was dull from the burnout of constant healing and battle. Lucifer called out to the other angel but he couldn't tell if it was voice, or his spirit, or just in his mind. He was too weak to tell the difference. His own angels, the Fallen, could sense his presence even without a call, would come to him. Maybe the same would be true for this angel. Will alone kept Lucifer from falling into unconsciousness. All he could do was hope Balthazar was inside.

Comments

[tryingitall]

The l-word is a scary one, for all that Balthazar drops it blithely as a random endearment. He's very much aware of what's happening. Were they on a similar level and rank, he might be more open about his own feelings, but this is happening at breakneck speed, and he's not sure yet what all the ramifications might be. If it were just him at stake, it would be no big deal, no regrets, full speed ahead. It's not, though. And as much as Lucifer is a person who needs and deserves love, as much as he is a kind of distant family even over and above this romantic affair, as much as Balthazar is sure he wants him and will not stop wanting him, he's also aware that he is an immense cosmic force with a role to play in his own universe. Interfering in that might be unwise.

Then again, he's the angel who unsank the Titanic. Fuck destiny.

"Sleep, darling," he murmurs. "If I need to get up, I might move you to the bed. Otherwise, I'm fine right here."

And he is. He ends up watching television on low volume for hours as he cuddles the sleeping Devil, and he knows entirely too much of the plot of an android-centric telenovela by the end of it, but he feels no need to move, or leave, or sleep, himself. Even inert, Lucifer's company is worth enjoying.

[azazael]

Azazael was in a rush when he finally found where the King was. He should have checked hours ago, but got distracted by people and things. It was unlike him to be derelict of duty but being in an entirely new creation had overwhelmed his sensibilities somewhere along the way. Death was going to be pissed at the angel for abandoning him at the door, well theoretically, Death really didn't get angry but Azazael imagined it. That is what a normal being would do if they had been told a short time and that turned into hours.

It was early morning when he flew, literally, up the internal stairs of the building. He wasn't thinking too clearly, but this was his King's, his King's angel's?, place so he was allowed there unbidden. That was how Chaos worked, why not here?

Azazael moved fast when he wanted to, could outpace Lucifer even over a short distance and that is the kind of speed he was moving at when he landed outside the penthouse doors. He felt the wards but none of them barred his passage, he was used to wards anyway though these were different than those on the rooms of Pandemonium.

He willed the door to unlock, and entered abruptly, but quietly. His blue wings mottled with white were still out glowing brightly in a soft blue. He was jittery and nervous when he stepped in unsure of the situation. After all, there was an angel here that he didn't know. An angel of heaven that had somehow stood its ground with Lucifer. That alone was terrifying though he didn't think dangerous. A heavenly angel willing to spend time with the devil couldn't be that dangerous. Though he second guessed that thought knowing he was unchanged by the Fall, still pure as when he walked in Heaven. Maybe that would matter, maybe it wouldn't.

He wasn't paying attention much, mind focused on locating the King in the rooms, even though he could sense the other angel was here somewhere.

[tryingitall]

Balthazar is not, of course, asleep. He rarely, if ever, needs that level of rest, and in any case he feels compelled to keep an eye on Lucifer. However, at this point he's switched from telenovelas to children's shows and he's frowning deeply at PJ Masks when Azazael finds his way inside, because he finds the entire concept of toddlers putting on their pajamas to be superheros profoundly troubling, and he's really hoping there will eventually be some indication that they're dreaming.

He feels something pass through his wards, but they're so strongly geared toward warning him about Heavenly angels, it feels like a light, innocuous touch. He's inclined to assume it's just a deliveryman or a new neighbor until the door actually unlocks itself and opens, and then he starts, mildly alarmed, and hurriedly teleports his way out from beneath Lucifer to rise and stumble toward the door, wings flared and feathers on end. He's not being particularly aggressive, just startled, but he pointedly puts himself between the stranger and the couch.

"I beg your pardon. In my dimension, we usually knock before entering." He knows at a glance this isn't one of his siblings, and his wards would have pushed back against a threat, but being walked in on like this is a little unsettling regardless.

[azazael]

The angel suddenly appearing, at least to Azazael's distracted perceptions, causes him to step back. In his world displaying wings like this is definitely threatening. His eyes are wide with shock and fear. When his senses come around enough to look closely at the angel his eyes get even wider.

He stands there dumbfounded for a second until the other angel starts to speak. His immediate reaction is so ritualized that the motions are stiff and swift. His hat is off, he drops to one knee, head bowed, wings closed and arched over his back. This was trained formality, an instinct once he realized the angel challenging his presence was the King's angel. He's trying to stay still but he's so nervous that his wings continue to shift.

"I'm sorry." The words come out apprehensive. Azazael isn't sure what to expect. Then thinks to add, "My Lord." just as a precaution, though he isn't sure what this angel's title should be, lord was a good neutral ground.

[tryingitall]

If he were trying to threaten, he'd be rattling those wings, and might even get out his blade (though he's not about to use it on another angel). He can see how the peacocking would be viewed as aggressive, though, and so when he sees the look of alarm on the stranger's face he eases up a little. Just a little, letting the span of feathers shrink slightly as he fold the wings closer to his back.

And then he's being knelt to, which is very much a new on on him, outside a BDSM scene anyway. Another angel would not do this. Bow, sure. Kneel, no.

He's quiet for a moment, calming himself and struggling to think things through. After a breath or two, he stands down, folding up his wings completely and crossing his arms loosely over his chest. "Well...clearly we were raised with different protocol. I'm Balthazar. The title isn't really necessary, but we can discuss all that later. Who are you, again?"

[azazael]

Azazael is used to some of the Fallen who are surly, and worse the Heavenly of his own world which might turn on him instead of listening. This was respect and courtesy of a first meeting. He's not supposed to look until he is given leave to stand but the name draws his eyes up, still wide, to stare at the other angel.

He can't help but wonder if that was his name or that was recently given to him. How odd, if that was the name he had before he met Lucifer. As a linguist the meaning catches his curiosity.

"Azazael, messenger of the King." He almost adds the title again, starts to say it then bites back the words. He's still nervous. Even with the wings closed, this was still a celestial bold enough to cross lines and break rules like Lucifer. Azazael can't quite come to grips with what that means as far as power or how to treat him.

[tryingitall]

Azazael. Balthazar looks at the luminous wings, feels the aura of this uncorrupted angel, and sighs, a little smile crossing his face. "From this Lucifer's world, I presume? Your namesake in my world is...very different."

He holds out his arm, offering to help the young angel up. "Goodness. You really should have knocked; I was startled. But you're welcome here now that I know who you are. You were looking for him, I imagine. He's resting."

[azazael]

He blinks at the "this Lucifer" comment. It did make sense though if there was another place with angels there would be other Lucifers.

"Yes, I serve your Lucifer." He affirms. There's hesitation when he's offered a hand up but he takes it after a moment of internal indecision. Standing he feels the need to explain himself.

"We don't knock. We know if we are permitted to enter or not. This is where my King stays and my station gives me leave to be here."

Azazael glances at the couch, senses the exhaustion and then figures that Lucifer probably hasn't had the time, or energy, to explain nuance to this angel.

The nervousness is starting to fade as he lets go of the other angel's arm, having completely forgotten he was still holding it. Azazael also remembered his hat in his hand and puts that back on too. "He's fought a lot of angels. We didn't know if he'd find his way or not."

[tryingitall]

"We're going to have to work on terminology," he murmurs thoughtfully. His Lucifer. Well...that's probably a more apt designation for the one he's sleeping with than the one from his world that never gave him the time of day, but it feels weird.

"I don't follow your court protocols or hierarchy," he says gently but firmly. "And I don't intend to, except inasmuch as he needs me to, to keep things from going off the rails. And this is my living space as well as his."

He'll talk this over with Lucifer when he's awake again. No point in stressing Azazael out, but Balthazar isn't sure he likes the assumption that because his place is Lucifer's as well, his close confidantes can come and go as they please without at least checking with Balthazar.

They've all got a bit to learn, really. It's weird, but Balthazar can be as patient as he needs to be. "He's got a few significant wounds," he says, "but he seems to be healing some already, slowly but surely. I've done what I can."

"Come to the kitchen, won't you? I'll make cocoa, we can talk there."

[azazael]

"What terms do you want?" Azazael was used to everyone having different terms, titles, salutations, and all sorts of other preferences. As a messenger he was good at remembering them, once he knew what they were.

He starts to blush when he realizes he's done something wrong and tries to patch things up though. "No one else knows where here is, and I won't tell them."

Azazael debates, biting his lip from uncertainty. Finally speaking hesitantly. "Has he taught you to hear the court."

Maybe he shouldn't tell Balthazar, but he was certainly part of the court. Azazael is pretty sure he is. He'd have to be. He can't fix that he overstepped his bounds but he can be a buffer to ensure none of the others do. He stops, staring at the couch, then nods. "Belial said Moloch tried to kill him."

Azazael falls in, waiting expectantly to follow the angel. Cocoa was wonderful, at least for Azazael it was, others might not fair so well once he's had anything sweet.

[tryingitall]

"That's the trouble, I'm not sure yet," he gives him a sheepish look. "This is all very new to me. I've talked with Belial, you know, and you, and the both of you seem to have this idea in your head that I've taken on some sort of role I didn't know I was taking on. I need to talk it over with him."

On the one hand, he didn't leave Heaven just to be swept up into another world's celestial/infernal power structure. He doesn't want to be part of a court. He never asked to be a lord in a formal sense, though, yes, his name fits all too well here. On the other hand, he knows enough about the way mortal beings date and pair up to recognize that when you get involved with someone, you get involved with their family, as well. So it was inevitable that he should get caught up to some extent.

Somehow, he'll have to find a balance between being a romantic partner and being Balthazar, who said 'thanks, but no thanks' to the archangels and walked right out of the war.

"To hear the court?" He shakes his head. "No, I think he's been trying to keep me insulated." Which he appreciates now more than ever, but the ship may have sailed at this point.

He goes to the refrigerator to get out milk and puts it in a pan to heat on the stove. For all that he's a pathetic excuse for a cook, he does know how to make cocoa the old-fashioned way, with cinnamon and nutmeg and table-chocolate rather than Hershey's powder. "Who is Moloch, anyway, and who pissed in his cornflakes?"

[azazael]

Azazael listens and maybe it is good, or potentially bad, that he doesn't know how to hold his tongue. "Don't you know why the angels think that?"

He can sense that the other angel is having a hard time with the situation but he's not sure what to do. If this were some other angel he might hug them but he was as uncertain about the dynamic as Balthazar was about the situation as a whole.

"I can teach you if you want." He shrugged more at the concept that Lucifer might not want him to, but Azazael had a rebellious streak a mile wide, despite his innocence. "You might not like the role but you've got a lot of say and others will listen."

That was serious. Though his words wouldn't hold the weight of Lucifer or Belial, maybe, he had a lot of power he just didn't recognize yet. Azazael knew it, that is why he had kneeled instead of bowing.

Azazael leans on the other side of the counter, watching the angel at the stove and sighs heavily. "I don't think anyone had to piss in his cornflakes. He's always been a jerk. Moloch is an archangel. I think he was created around the same time as Belial, but he's more like Lucifer, kind of. He's arrogant, proud, angry, even in Heaven he wasn't nice. He was cast out during the rebellion but he didn't help Lucifer. He actually turned on Lucifer, or pretended to, and then when they were handing out judgement for the Fallen he used his chumminess with the seraphim to try to kill God."

Azazael was rambling and paused for a second. "He thinks he's strong as Lucifer, as God. He's always trying to take the crown thinking that station is what made Lucifer strong enough to challenge God. Lucifer and Moloch are always at each other's throats, but it's getting really bad right now."

[tryingitall]

"No, not particularly," he answers, giving Azazael a glance over his shoulder. "I know why the angels in my world think what they think and do what they do, with a few exceptions. I know them so well I could probably tell you what Raphael is doing right at this very moment. But in your world? Blank slate. I can extrapolate based on what I know from my world, but it seems some of my assumptions would be wrong."

"If I learn, can I shut it off again later, and how bad will it feel? My own siblings spoke the same way. Cutting myself off from it was agony. I'd love to not have to go through that again."

He listens to Azazael's explanation with a creased brow, visibly offput. "There's such acrimony in your world. Maybe it's for the best that our Father ditched us when He did, if Him sticking around just made so many archangels and seraphs and whatnot want to bump Him off, in your world. Are you all right? You're not going to get yourself in trouble coming here, are you?"

[azazael]

"It's going to get complicated, but I'll try." Azazael was good at explaining, it was part of his duties, but this was going to be difficult. "I guess there's three groups in Chaos. The angels, the older archangels, and the court."

He paused thinking what to say to someone who didn't understand billions of years of interactions. He starts trying to say things about six times before he settles on anything. "I guess the best way to say it is that they know you've got Lucifer's respect and a lot of the angels know that Lucifer set fire to Moloch when he suggested killing you to end the fighting. He did bring his entire court to the throne room and insult Lucifer. That's stupid even for Moloch. Lucifer blinded some of them and everyone knows that means Lucifer lost his temper in a bad way. They're going to see you as powerful and an ally of the King. That's not the kind of angel you skip formality with, so you're going to be treated differently for awhile."

He shrugged looking toward the living room. Azazael switched gears because, honestly, the talk of politics bored him. He'd rather talk to the angel than bore both of them. "I know he trusts you to protect him or he wouldn't have come here. You must make him feel safe, too. He's not as sad since he met you. A couple of us in the court think he likes more than your bed." Azazael spoke and immediately turned 90 shades of red from embarrassment.

"It's like telepathic voice chat." Azazael was up on modern tech more than most angels, wallowed in it a bit. "You're only connected to who ever as much as you need or want."

Azazael considered what Balthazar was saying. "Is your God a murderer too? We weren't supposed to hurt anyone and so many of us saw God order the death of an angel to break one of us. We saw the first sorrow and tears and God caused them."

He shrugged, grinning, cocky. "They can't catch me." but he understands the angel might be legitimately worried given what has happened to Lucifer. "I'm here on business of the Court. It's my duty to be here if they ask."

[tryingitall]

It's a strain to think of things the way Azazael is describing them. Balthazar frowns a little, Grace churning slowly, thoughtfully, with the same slow rhythm he uses to stir the cocoa heating in the pot. Perhaps it's a bit like being accepted into a new garrison, which was a rare thing to see in his own world but an easier metaphor for him to grasp. Usually it would only happen if the angel's old garrison was destroyed in a battle...which would leave an experienced survivor to be adopted and placed where they could do the most good.

In that light it makes a little more sense. Lucifer, the king of Chaos, wouldn't be expected to bring in just some random, decorative creature from another Heaven. Really, Balthazar's only moderately decorative, anyway. What Lucifer sees in him, he assumes, is not rote usefulness, but something harder to quantify and more sentimental, but whether his court would be able to recognize that or not--

Good lord, are they going to think he's some sort of wild maverick celestial badass? A little voice in the back of his head whispers, would they be wrong, though?, because he did steal half of the armory and blow up the rest when he left, so maybe he underestimates himself a little.

"I think I'm starting to understand," he says. "It might be best to hold onto the illusion of formality for a while, after all. Not with you, at least not in private. But better that than for them to think I'm just arm candy."

"The thing that throws me is that what I want, what I've always wanted, was for us all to be family. Angels always called one another brother and sister where I come from, but very few of us acted like it. Humans get to have so much more of that. Friends, family, lovers, and all sorts of things in-between. Are we not designed to love like that? If not, why do I feel the lack of it?" He gets out three mugs, filling each slowly to the brim, and drawing a circle around one with his fingertip, casting a quick spell to keep it hot for whenever Lucifer wakes.

He brings one of the others over to set beside Azazael. "Do you want regular marshmallows or strawberry-flavored?"

"Our Father just left us," Balthazar answers. "And some people blame that on his argument with our version of Lucifer and the fall of mankind, but--I don't think it's that simple any longer. I think we were designed to outlive our usefulness and battle ourselves into extinction. And I'm not going to be a part of it."

[azazael]

"They know you're not arm candy." Azazael is serious about this. "Pretty's never kept his attention. He's the most beautiful in our creation. I don't think arm candy'd apply."

Azazael nodded a bit enthusiastically. "The courts do work a bit like family. Lucifer's considered Father Lucifer by some of the angels, and a lot see Belial as his brother, and he's got the twins. The courts all have a high court, those that are closest to the lord and then the others are like extended family. We've got about 8 of us that are like family with Lucifer, we're his court and then everyone who serves with or for us are the extended family."

He paused brow crunching up in thought. "Most of the angels don't take lovers. It's not that they don't care or aren't close. Lucifer's one of the few that does, maybe because he's a seraphim?"

"Any marshmallows are good." In general Azazael would eat any sweets."

"Your Lucifer didn't fall until humans did?" He's quiet before continuing. "Lucifer, and most of the court, don't like to fight but we have to."

[tryingitall]

"I'm not sure how to feel about that assessment," Balthazar tells him with a little smirk. Oh, well. So what if he's dating out of his league? It's hard for anyone to compete with the most beautiful.

He gets out both bags of marshmallows and sets them out next to Azazael to take whatever he likes. Later, he may regret that, but in the meantime he's trying to make friends.

"It wasn't exactly encouraged where I'm from, taking a lover. Oddly, it was the pair bonding aspect that seemed to be the issue, not the idea of exchanging physical pleasure. It wasn't as if anyone was going to reproduce, though, so as long as you were discreet and didn't get distracted from your duty, it was surprising what you could get away with. Not everyone was interested, but...well." He smiles wistfully. "Best if I don't kiss and tell, I suppose."

"Depends on your definition of fall," he explains, sitting down and looking a bit more grim. "Humans were absolutely the major point of contention, though, even if he was a bit fractious before then. He did something truly cruel to Lilith, and then went after Adam and Eve with equally unkind intent. That was the final straw."

"Even some angels in good standing agreed with him regarding humanity. That they're flawed, destructive, awful little beasts. Some of that may be jealousy, though. Hard not to be jealous, with all they've been given."

[azazael]

Azazael gave a cheeky grin, blushing and whispering. "Maybe he's the arm candy?"

There were so many things Azazael could get away with, that Lucifer would tolerate from him. He took advantage of those free passes often.

"I don't think Lucifer cares." He gives the other angel a worried look while pulling out some marshmallows. "Lucifer might cause problems. He's always been strongly bonded when he stays. All the ones I know about, he stayed by them until they died. I think they all died in his arms."

Azazael hadn't met all of Lucifer's long term lovers but the ones he did know about had been heartbreaking. However, he brightens a little when Balthazar mentions his Lucifer. Not because of his unkindness but because his was not that way. "I don't think Lucifer's ever been cruel to humans unless they did something awful, but Eve caused a lot of problems between Lucifer and God."

Azazael sips the cocoa and decides to est the marshmallows like popcorn instead of putting them in the cup. "Our humans have endured a lot of curses from God. Maybe more curses than boons?"

[tryingitall]

That earns something akin to a giggle from Balthazar. "Perhaps. Time will tell whether he lets me show him off."

He quiets, sipping his cocoa, and there's something worried and hopeful and a little hurt in his eyes for a moment. "But he's never taken an angel as a lover. I'm not going to die. Not of old age or illness, anyway. I'd like to not die of violence, either."

"I'm glad this one is kinder to humans than my world's version. He's willing to spend time with my Vessel. I think the only other person who's been interested in that has been Aziraphale."

[azazael]

Now the younger angel is laughing, cheery, bright, and angelic, eyes glittering. "Did you forget his pride? Lucifer puts the peacocks to shame."

The laughing stopped but the smile remained as he ate a few more marshmallows. However, as Balthazar spoke the smile faded and he stared down into the cup of cocoa.

"I think it's good." He went quiet and his whole presence depressed which was a rare thing for Azazael, to be anything but bubbly. He loved Lucifer dearly, somewhere between hero worship and his big brother. "I don't know if he can take much more hurt. It's like part of him dies with them and it never heals, never gets less over time."

He looked over at the other angel still sad but trying to smile. "I hope you don't die or hurt him. It destroys him when he loses those around him."

He slowly brightened back up. "I met an Aziraphale this morning, at the park. I don't know if it is the same one." But his brow furrows. "Vessel?"

[tryingitall]

Balthazar presses his lips into a thin line. "I've always been the one being left behind, before."

He hesitates for a moment, then reaches out and puts his hands on Azazael's shoulders. "I'll try my best. I certainly don't want to die, or to hurt him. I suppose nothing is guaranteed forever, though. Not even us."

Straightening again, he smiles. "Probably the same one. Tartan bow tie, sort of sweet-tempered and easily flustered? I want to adopt him." It's hard to tell quite how he means that, but clearly he's fond of the other angel. "You know, it's honestly refreshing how many angels there are here. I can't really socialize back home. Gets a little bit lonely."

"Angels in my world cannot walk amongst mortals without a human vessel. I don't like to think of it as possessing him, but that's the nearest analogy. It's consensual; we have to ask for their permission."

[azazael]

A hint of a smile appeared. "Maybe it'll be good for both of you? If you don't die and he is bound by his words."

Azazael took the contact as an invitation and hugged the other angel spontaneously. He figured this angel was his brother now too. He let go though when the other angel pulled to straighten.

The smile is back and he nodded. "We played on the swings this morning." While Azazael was supposed to be here but he didn't mention that part. "The Fallen spend a lot of time together, but I'm not welcome around a lot of them because I didn't Fall like they did. I'm an outsider when I'm not at Lucifer's court."

He tried to wrap his head around what the other angel was saying. "You can't be here then, without the human, and you live inside them?"

[tryingitall]

Fortunately, Balthazar is anything but reticent about physical contact. He gives a little sputter of surprise at the hug, but chuckles and returns it, with an added embrace of wings. He's quite fond of Belial and Aziraphale and Crowley, too, but there's something a bit more familiar about this particular young angel; familiar, and uncomplicated. "Well, I don't mind you adopting me," he says. "I suppose I'll adapt to each of the members of your court and family as they come."

It's kind of exciting, if he doesn't let himself get worried or intimidated.

"You played on the swings without me?" Sad face. It's only a joke, though, and he breaks into a grin a second later. "Right. Once Lucifer's up and ready to do things, we ought to all go somewhere fun. Coney Island's gone again, unfortunately, but I'm sure we can find an aquarium or a state fair or a trampoline park or something."

Between Balthazar's determination to experience things, and Azazael's tendency toward play, Lucifer may end up being the one in over his head, at least where field trips are concerned.

"I'm not sure about the Nexus," he says. "I can't walk my world's Earth without a vessel. My true form is a wheel of eyes and fire and it's quite large--well, not as big as some, Cassi's the size of a skyscraper--but I'd do too much damage to the landscape. Also it's Forbidden in a big way. Even Michael can't circumvent the rule."

"Besides...if you let it, being within a vessel teaches you a lot. At this point, if I did leave him, he would have to agree to let me back. Which I think he would, but, you know, I'd have to test the waters carefully. If I left him and found out my true form was burning down the Plaza and he didn't want me back, that would be awkward."

[azazael]

He's a bit confused about being adopted but when he thinks about it that did make sense, at least in human terms. If Balthazar was basically heading toward being the King's partner..husband.. and Lucifer was kind of Father like, that would make this angel sort of a second dad, or big brother. He quickly accepted that. He smiled at the idea of getting to know the court and offers some reassurance. "Most of them are like Belial, really calm."

"I didn't know you then." He grins too, knowing it is a joke. There's a knowing look to his expression. "Lucifer'll agree to a lot more than he lets on or his reputation says. You should go out stargazing with him. He knows all the stars."

And he thoroughly understood what he just said was romantic, but Lucifer also loved the sky in general. Now that he met this angel, Azazael had decided he and Lucifer would be good for each other, and encourage them to get closer. He listens and gets wide-eyed.

"You're one of the Ophanim? A watcher, like me. I am an Irin, but I never served Raphael like the others do." That was exciting. They weren't the same kind of watcher but close enough.. He didn't have a fancy celestial form. He just looked, more or less, like a giant iridescent form of himself. "I don't think Lucifer can either. I've seen him without any of the illusions and he's basically a huge fire with wings made of light and fire that touches everything and is unbelievably hot. When he doesn't have the illusions he scorches the burning ground in Chaos. I don't think it's forbidden for us, we just don't like to destroy things."

Azazael was catching on. For all of his childishness, he had a deep understanding of things once they were explained. "It makes sense that Lucifer'd want to keep him safe."

[tryingitall]

Balthazar, when meeting another angel, mentally defaults to familial relationships. Chances are he was bound to think of Azazael as a sibling no matter what. He's mentally adopted Aziraphale, as well, and probably Belial and Crowley are next.

"The stars are strange in the Nexus," he says thoughtfully. "Do you suppose he knows all the stars everywhere?"

Ohh. He's touched, and delighted, by the parallels being drawn between him and Azazael, and breaks into a dazzling smile. "I was actually under Gabriel, in my world, until he left Heaven, and then I was passed to Raphael's hosts. See, you understand, then, what it's like to be surrounded by all these incredible details of Creation and just drunk with all of it. I cried for hours the first time I saw all the little hairs on a spider's toes, they're so darling. I was quite young then, mind you, but still."