International Pi Day (aka International Harass Aziraphale Day)

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer could not resist. Once it was known that 3/14 was called Pi Day Lucifer was compelled by his mischievous nature. The other angel would live with this for the rest of his eternity, pie!

The devil had made a pair of beautiful pear pies with sugared top crusts. They were boxed lovingly and tucked a card in with them. He then dispatched Azazael to find Aziraphale's book shop in his own creation. These were to be left on the shop counter for the other angel.

He then waited, wondering if an exasperated text or call would come. Even if one didn't, it was satisfying enough to know he was harassing a good friend at a far distance.

Comments

[sohoangel]

A phone call comes from the angel soon after the pies are delivered, just as predicted.

"Lucifer."

Somehow, Aziraphale packs an entire celestial entity's worth of ire into three clipped syllables.

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer picks up the phone and isn't prepared for this level angst.

"Hello, Aziraphale." He's neutral and trying not to find it funny. It reminded him of how God would yell sometimes, so much ire in his name.

[sohoangel]

"Lucifer." This time, when Aziraphale says his name, he sounds weary, nearly exhausted. "You have to know why I'm calling you, you --"

There is the sound of shuffling, as if the angel is moving very quickly to another part of his shop.

"Look, it's one thing to tease me mercilessly, but you can't just send a pair of pies over like this! I had to spend an entire afternoon dodging Crowley's questions about it, it's really too much."

[the_rebel_son]

"I know." He admits, a little deflated by the tired sound.

"Why not be honest with him? It is a human holiday." Despite wanting to tease he doesn't want to cause Aziraphale undue stress. Lucifer falls to explaining himself because he isn't about to apologize for what he's done. "I am your friend, and a chef, and it is a holiday. The harassment was icing on the cake."

[sohoangel]

"Yes, I know, the pie was delicious," Aziraphale says hurriedly. Because of course he had a piece despite his embarrassment, he's not about to turn down such a well-baked dessert, and pears are his favorite. "And I did get the reference, mathematics isn't my field, but I do know what pi is."

He sighs when coming to the question itself, unsure how to explain such things, and uncomfortable with violating Crowley's privacy.

"Because... it's a delicate topic for him. Crowley hasn't -- we haven't --"

There's another pause and the sound of more shuffling about the shop.

"He's not ready. Which is fine! There's no need to rush into this new aspect of our relationship. I don't want to pressure him, the poor dear nearly had a panic attack over the idea the last time it came up between us. So it's absolutely out of the question to tell him about the pie thing. Do you want me to upset him? Because that's what will happen if I mention this, and it won't be nearly so funny then, I can assure you!"

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer listens patiently and sighs. "It may surprise you but I have been in relationships where barely a kiss to the hand has happened. I understand that aspect. Even more so now."

There's a long pause while Lucifer tries to get his thoughts in order. "I do not want you to upset him. It was not my intention."

An even longer pause happens, so long it might seem like the phone has gone dead. "You are one of my brothers now, and I am not about to forgo being friendly. I will send gifts and there will be inside jokes, perhaps the humor is indelicate but I am the Devil. More importantly, that is what friendships are. I sent them because the holiday made me think of you, first and foremost, the gift itself was certainly humor but I do not cook for everyone either."

[sohoangel]

"You mentioned that to me before," Aziraphale replies. "Outside the ice cream shop. It's one of the things that put my relationship with Crowley into perspective, as a matter of fact."

Aziraphale remains silent through both pauses, occasionally checking the screen of his phone to make sure that it hasn't gone dead. When Lucifer speaks again, he finds himself fussing with the hem of his waistcoat and slinking even further into the stacks.

"I know that. I would not ask you to stop teasing me for my benefit, or... or at all, really. Your friendship means a lot to me, Lucifer. Inside jokes and all. I only ask that you leave Crowley out of the teasing, at least when it comes to this specific thing. Please? He's already struggling with this so much, I don't want to add to it."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer listens attentively but is concerned. "Honestly, why is not, 'my friend sent me baked goods for a silly human holiday' not a sufficient explanation? I understand what you are saying but I do not understand why he is so upset about a gift on a holiday if he knows nothing about the joke."

Lucifer laughed a little and added. "As much on me as you."

[sohoangel]

"He's known me for over six thousand years and picks up on my embarrassment easily," Aziraphale explains, before letting out a helpless little sigh and rubbing his forehead. "And he knows you, or at least your style."

Well, there's nothing to it, then, he'll just have to build up a thicker skin. At least March 14th only comes once a year...

"...it was very good pie, so thank you for that. Especially remembering that I prefer pears."

[the_rebel_son]

"You should have him ask me." Lucifer's voice has his smile in the tone. "Promise, no mention of that particular joke."

Then he does laugh. "I did not forget how you harassed me for my cliche love of apples and insisted I do something with pears."

[sohoangel]

"Now there's a thought." He could just have Crowley ask Lucifer, couldn't he? With the added bonus that his demon likely won't bother and thus put an end to the topic of conversation once and for all. "I'll keep that in mind."

His tone considerably less anxious, he replies dryly, "Well, it is rather cliché, don't you think? Not that I have anything against apple pie. Crowley already teases me with the whole apple business, anyway. I figured you'd want to diversify."

[the_rebel_son]

"I do not mind." He was being honest. It was his jest and as long as he could still harass with it there was no harm in mitigating collateral damage.

"If my story was the traditional one of temptation, perhaps." Lucifer goes on, just a hint of sadness in his tone. "But I fell in love beneath an apple tree, laid with the mother of my child. The nostalgia is different for me than it might be for other versions of the tempter."

[sohoangel]

"I know. I'm not sure how inclined he'll be to contact you, but I appreciate the offer."

When Aziraphale speaks again, there is sympathy in his tone, his voice quiet. "Yes, I imagine that it is different for you. Crowley merely put an idea into Eve's head, the same as he's done to me over the years. Although... well, I suppose he and I would never have met without that apple, either."

[the_rebel_son]

"I have noticed he is reluctant to speak to me still. Perhaps, eventually, I hope it will pass."

Lucifer really did want to speak with the demon. They had much in common, or at least Lucifer imagined they did. Shared but very different experiences.

"Apples have brought many good things to both of our lives." The apple deserved praise and then Lucifer had a thought. "If you ever wish apples from those trees, in my creation I stole them before God burned Eden to the ground."

[sohoangel]

"I wouldn't take it personally. Crowley's always been a little skittish, and he has a number of issues with his former employer. For what it's worth, he enjoyed the pie, too." A pause, before he adds quickly, "Which, before you ask, we ate on plates with forks."

He hasn't forgotten who he's talking to.

The angel can't argue with that fact about apples, and is about to say as much, before Lucifer stuns him into silence with his offer. "...really?" He finally manages.

[the_rebel_son]

"I understand. It would be like asking me to believe a Michael would be good company." Lucifer laughs at the comment. "You really should try it without the forks sometime, when you are ready."

"After losing Eve, I could not watch Eden be burned." Lucifer is both sad and mischievous which feels like insanity. "We stole everything we could save before God consumed it with flames. I took the trees out of nostalgia."

[sohoangel]

"Well, I'm not about to convince you of that," Aziraphale replies rather saucily. "Although the universe is infinite, so there must be a decent one somewhere."

As for pie without forks, it's a good thing their conversation is over the phone. That way, Lucifer can't see Aziraphale blushing. The truth is, they have fed one another sweets, just not to the salacious extent that Lucifer likes to imply. "We'll see."

"Yes, I know, it's only... it's that you'd offer me apples from those trees. That's a... a very precious gift."

[the_rebel_son]

"One can hope. After all, I am a descent Lucifer." He adds smugly.

"I make brandy with them." Lucifer shrugged even if Aziraphale can't see it. "I have worked hard to keep them alive in Chaos and debate bringing them to the Nexus villa so they can flourish again."

[sohoangel]

"Far more than decent," Aziraphale says warmly, although he can't help but add, "Must be to make up for all the terrible ones out there."

"Those trees are powerful relics, Lucifer. Are you sure it's wise to bring them to the Nexus?" There's no reproach in the angel's voice, but he is concerned. "They might be safer where they are."

Every time you use that icon I laugh.

[the_rebel_son]

"I have met some of them." Lucifer sighed. "I feel like I owe the multiverse an apology for having so many terrible clones."

"Are you going to tell someone what they are?" His tone starts out light and humorous but it gets serious as it goes on. "I want them to see the sun and stand in a garden again. I promised Eve I would never forget I was the caretaker of life."

Still, he reluctantly accepts the angel's point. "They may be. I have bred offspring from them. There are several now, though, as far as I can tell the apples do not carry the same weight as their parents."

:)

[sohoangel]

"I hope you never have the displeasure of meeting the one from my world. He won't improve your opinion in the least."

Aziraphale makes a mildly affronted noise, even though he knows that Lucifer is not serious about the first part, at least. "Well, when you it like that... they really do deserve a chance to shine. I would just hate to see anything happen to them. There are many aspects of the Nexus that are beyond our control."

[the_rebel_son]

"I am used to disapproval. Why should myself be any less disappointed?" Lucifer is simply laughing at the idea of an other Lucifer scolding him.

He thinks on it a moment and then offers. "Would you feel better if I brought trees grown from cuttings instead of the originals? At least at first?"

[sohoangel]

"Honestly, I have no idea what he'd make of you. I only met him once, but he left an unfavorable impression."

Aziraphale does not sleep, so he does not have nightmares, but if he did, there'd likely be a place for the memory of that giant, horned being of pure evil clawing its way out of the Earth.

"Oh! That's an excellent idea." The angel lets out a sigh of relief. "A test run to make sure that they thrive and that all remains well. I like that very much."

[the_rebel_son]

"As much as I wish to meet them, and then I think of the destruction that would come if we fought."

Lucifer is smirking on his end of the phone. "If it thrives, I will send you a gift. Warn Crowley so there we do not have this again."

[sohoangel]

Personally, he doesn't think it'd be much of a contest between the two, but he's not about to add to Lucifer's ego. "Considering how hard Crowley and I worked to avert Armageddon, I appreciate your discretion."

"I'll let him know what you're intending. Who knows, if it all pans out, you might even succeed into luring Crowley into a conversation about gardening."

[the_rebel_son]

"One war is more than enough." Lucifer would honestly prefer to be left in peace.

"You do know that you can bring him into the gardens here whenever you want?" The smile is there in Lucifer's voice. "I will even leave the villa so he does not panic."

[sohoangel]

"Agreed." It's something that he and Lucifer have in common.

"I know, and thank you. If at all possible, could you keep Beelzebub from coming up on him unannounced? He looks nothing like our Beelzebub, but I think it would unnerve him. Former boss and all that."

[the_rebel_son]

"He spends most if his time with Galahad or in council." Lucifer laughs quietly. "If they are in the gardens I do not think either of you will stay long."

[sohoangel]

Aziraphale sighs audibly. "Yes, I get the picture. Perhaps I should make a reservation? I wouldn't want the gardens to be double booked."

Because, honestly, he wouldn't say no to a little romantic time with Crowley in a garden that reminded him of Eden.

[the_rebel_son]

"If you want us cleared out, ask." Lucifer paused. "Once a week in the evening we depart for council in Chaos and only Abigor stays behind. Perhaps an evening with a full moon and plenty of stars."

Lucifer is all for romantic gestures. The more traditional they are the better. He might even go to the trouble of ensuring the sky remained cloudless add fireflies or a small candle lit area for them.

[sohoangel]

An evening with only Abigor on patrol sounds far more manageable for Crowley's needs. "That sounds lovely, Lucifer. Thank you."

Aziraphale is also one for romantic gestures, when Crowley does not beat him to the punch. This would be a nice night for them, if the angel can pull it off.

[the_rebel_son]

"and you know where the wine is." Yes, Lucifer just offered wine and a beautiful evening garden walk. Aziraphale is not the only one who has a love of romantic gestures.

"I am glad we were able to work through my devilish sense of humor."

[sohoangel]

"That I do." Yes, this is shaping up to be a lovely idea. All he needs is to get Crowley to agree to it.

"Isn't all your humor technically devilish?" Aziraphale replies with dry amusement before letting out a little sigh of relief. "Yes, I'm glad, too."

There is a sound in the distance on Aziraphale's end, like a bell tinkling. "Oh, someone's at the door. Hopefully it's Crowley and not a customer. I'll talk to you later, Lucifer. Do take care."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer is glad that he can help set up a romantic evening, even if it is for someone else.

"Technically, unavoidable." Lucifer laughs. "Go take care of your demon. It is always good to speak with you. Have a good evening and I am sorry for any trouble I may have caused for you."

Lucifer apologizing for anything was a rarity but when it could hurt a relationship so similar to his own it dampens down the pride.